To Elope or Not to Elope? That is the Question

I was never one of those little girls planning my wedding and daydreaming of finding Mr. Right. I was too busy playing with garden snakes in my backyard and watching my dad customize his old hot rod Beetle in the driveway. I’m a tomboy to my core and what I believed a wedding was “supposed to” look like never interested me. 

I was briefly engaged several years ago and the whole planning process made me sick with stress and overwhelming options. Of course, every one of my family members and friends had their opinions on how and what I should do. I didn’t understand wedding etiquette and frankly wanted no part of the cringy garter toss or being in the spotlight. I wanted to elope but was promptly shut down by family who believed that everyone would think I was pregnant… so I gave in to the people-pleasing and continued planning a wedding I didn’t want, despite being the sole person footing the bill.

Maybe you’re like me, or maybe you did want a wedding, but it just got away from you and became this giant snowball of tears, stress, and heartache.

Don’t make the same mistake I did. This is a day about you and your partner. Not your parents. Not your friends. Not your co-workers. Of course, so many of them genuinely mean well and simply want to be a part of such an important day in your life. It’s also probable that many of them didn’t get to have their dream wedding day because others took over their day just like they are doing to you.

Don’t spend tens of thousands of dollars on things you don’t value.

The family drama will always be there, but you’re starting your own new family! No matter what you do on your wedding day, there will always be someone (or many someone’s) who has an opinion and thinks you should’ve done something different. So if it’s going to happen no matter what choice you make, why not do exactly what you want?

Did you know that in Texas, the average cost of a wedding is over $30,000? That is as much as a brand-new car. It’s also the standard down payment on a house. So ask yourself, do you really want to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a single day to make everyone else happy or do you want to be more intentional with your time, money, and emotional energy? 

Eloping might be for you if:

• you place more value on experiences versus material things
• you’re an introvert and the idea of standing in front of tons of people terrifies the absolute crap out of you
• you have a complicated or toxic family dynamic
• you’re prone to people-pleasing tendencies and can already see your wedding getting taken over by family or friends

Don’t think that choosing to elope means you’re not allowed to have anyone there with you or can’t partake in traditions that genuinely mean something to you. This is your day to craft intentionally, with things that matter to you as a couple. There is no right or wrong way to elope.

If you need help figuring out what this could look like, check out my post: 30 Epic Adventure Elopement Ideas in Texas (that aren’t hiking) and reach out to schedule a free elopement planning + photography consultation. I’ve been photographing elopements and intentional weddings in Texas since 2013, so I know the ins and outs of what to expect and how to craft a soulful wedding day you will never forget.